Ok, can I be honest with you all for a minute? Do you really want to know what happens on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week? I have the answer for you, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I am sorry, I love all things Real Housewives and this is probably my favorite cast but nothing has been happening the last two weeks.
Here is what you need to know to keep up:
Brandi is sober!?
Yes, it is true! At the beginning of the episode we see Brandi at Yolanda’s. They are going to do another yoga session with Keith, Yolanda’s yoga instructor.
“Yoyo!” Brandi says walking in the front door.
Yolanda has talked Brandi into doing a detox program where they both do not eat anything with sugar in it or drink alcohol for 21 days.
“How does it feel, not drinking?” Yolanda asks.
“I miss it,” a sober Brandi replies.
Later in the confessional Brandi says, “Thank God for Xanax.” (Is she serious about this? Xanax is a HORRIBLE drug, even if it was prescribed to you! It is not a detox if you are still on Xanax.)
EVERYONE is worried about Kim.
After all of the craziness that occurred at Eileen’s poker party, everyone is concerned about Kim. Kyle tells Lisa that Brandi is coming between her and her sister. Kyle expresses that she is worried for Kim’s well-being. Lisa advises Kyle not to let the relationship she has with Brandi interfere with the relationship she has with her sister. Lisa wants Kyle to learn to be cordial with Brandi. “Easy for Lisa to say,” Kyle says. Kyle worries that Brandi will eventually turn on Kim like she has turned on everyone else. She fears if this happens Kim will be heartbroken.
Aside from Kyle’s worry for Kim, Lisa Rinna is seriously confused about Kim’s situation and won’t stop talking about it. “What is everybody so scared of?” She says. “Why is everyone scared of Kim Richards?”
Lisa Vanderpump warns her about confronting Kim. Vanderpump says she too is worried for Kim but does not want to say anything because last time she did everyone blew up on her.
Lisa Rinna wants to do an intervention. Seeing Kim act the way she did at Eileen’s poker party is enough for Lisa Rinna and she thinks everyone else should be concerned too. “It’s very disturbing!” She says.
Brandi, on the beach with her friend who wears too much makeup, also describes a deep worry for Kim. She says she is not the best person for a recovering addict to be around because she drinks and she is not a therapist. Her make-up over-wearing friend describers her own struggle with sobriety and mentions that it took her five years to be able to be around people who drink. She asks if Kim has a sponsor, goes to meetings and it seeing a therapist. Brandi is unsure of all of this.
Ken throws Lisa a Surprise Birthday party.
The shocking part of this is that Ken called Brandi and asked her to come. He didn’t want to leave anyone out.
Ken tells Lisa that they are going out to dinner with Mohammad and his wife. When they leave the house, Ken tells Lisa there is a problem at PUMP and they have to stop by. In this scene, you see the couple fighting with the driver because Lisa does not want to stop at PUMP. She tells Ken that Mohammad hates when they are late. Ken wins and the driver goes to PUMP. Once they get there, Lisa is walking with Ken into PUMP and she asks him what kind of problem is it that he cannot handle without her.
Inside, all of Lisa’s friends and family are hiding behind the bar awaiting her arrival. Lisa finally walks in and everyone jumps out from behind the bar screaming. Lisa is scared but laughing. She had no idea that Ken was throwing a surprise party. She seemed really happy.
These women CANNOT sing.
I do not know if this is shocking to any of you but this episode we find out that these women are absolutely HORRIBLE singers. While at Lisa’s surprise birthday dinner, Lisa somehow talks Brandi (who hates singing) into getting up in front of everyone there and singing an apology song to her. Brandi actually does it and sounds so horrible. (She looks beautiful though.)
“What are you gonna do? When Lisa Vanderpump doesn’t like you.” She sings, totally tone def.
Lisa gets up on stage and starts singing. She points out Kim and brings her up. She twirls Kim around really awkwardly and puts the mic up to her face.
“I can’t sing,” Kim sings into the mic, also totally tone def.
Lisa Rinna (who may just be the best housewife of all time) gets up and takes the mic over. Her voice actually was not too bad. She was hamming it up on stage, singing to Lisa about sex and blow jobs. (Yep. This is what Lisa Vanderpump’s birthday has come to.)
Kyle goes up and gets between the two Lisa’s and sings about loving a “Lisa sandwich”.
Brandi, back at the table now, hears and sees all this and confesses to us, “The menopause sisters were fighting over the mic. I wasn’t going to go up because I still get the flow. if you know what I mean.” (Good lord!)
The girls confront Kim.
Eileen’s husband wrote a screen play and decides to have the girls over to do a table reading of it, giving each girl their own part. It was cute and nice of Eileen’s husband to coordinate but it was rather boring to listen to. After the table read the girls decide to confront Kim about her sobriety.
First they start the conversation talking about a lunch that Lisa Rinna had with Brandi. (Brandi was not at this event.) The girls all agree that Kim and Kyle should not let Brandi get between then.
They ask how Kim has been feeling. Kim talks about how she sits at home and just stays in her room watching TV alone. She says that it is starting to worry her. Lisa Vanderpump asks if Kim wants people to call daily to check in on her and kind of keep her going.
In the confessional Kim says to us, “I don’t know why people get involved in stuff that doesn’t involve them.” (MAYBE BECAUSE THEY CARE ABOUT YOU KIM!)
Lisa Rinna starts talking to Kim too. They are all offering help to her.
Kim responds to them, in person, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”
Next time on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – We see Lisa Rinna dancing like crazy. Yolanda plans a scavenger hunt for the girls. Kim and Lisa Rinna are fighting about Kim’s sobriety while on a private plane (because that’s how you they roll), the girls go to Amsterdam (Fun! Fun!), Kim is screaming at Kyle and Kyle has no idea what is going on.
Hopefully this episode will give us a little more than the last two.